The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize