can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize