have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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