I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize