alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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