I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Drunk is not a location!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize