And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize