so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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