She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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