Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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