Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
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Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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