shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
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he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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