i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize