Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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