Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize