Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize