Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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