I feel great
I just peed on a car
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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