I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
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We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
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This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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