just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
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I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize