Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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