I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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