At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
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True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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