There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize