love makes seman taste better
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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