I hate all girls vehemently.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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