he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize