im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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