Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
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someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
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I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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