Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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