But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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