We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
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According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
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