Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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