Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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