i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
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I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
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Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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