i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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