I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize