Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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