But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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