so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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