God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
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My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
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Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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