Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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