mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize