I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize