Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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