Well douche your snatch and let's go!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize