after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize