You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
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It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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