I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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