my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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